He wears a dirty brown hat...

Earlier, I promised to expound on the concept of the Jungian Shadow. If you haven't noticed, I'm a huge fan and student of Jungian Psychology, especially as it relates to dream interpretation. I wouldn't presume to call myself an expert by any stretch, my formal studies don't extend past PSYCH101, so if you're qualified feel free to correct anything I get wrong.

 Just what is The Shadow? It is a very specific personification of what Freud called the Id. It is the underlying primal repressed and vehemently denied part of ourselves we can scarcely bear to admit. We spend our lives, up until what Jung called individualization, a sort of psychological coming of age, growing up as it were, fighting and running from this dream monster until we finally realize there is no defeating it, because it is ourselves.

So who is my Shadow? The title of this post should give you a clue. Jung gave us two more qualifications for narrowing it down. It will be the same gender as the patient, in my case male, and it will be the last person you would ever want to be. I can only presume it doesn't have to be a real person because in my case, I had spent many a nightmare for twenty-five years (8-33 years old) fighting and running from the worst monster I can imagine.

"He wears a dirty brown hat. He's horribly burned. He has razors on his right hand. His name is Freddy Krueger."


"THIS is God now..."

 I am a fan of the series though I honestly hate the character. I can't pass up a chance to watch any of the ANOES movies though, needless to say, I rooted for Jason in FVJ. He epitomises ugliness, cowardice, and cruelty, three traits I hate the most about myself when I'll admit them at all. Confrontation with one's Shadow is like facing the Magic Mirror Gate in The Neverending Story. "Confronted with their true selves, most men run away screaming,"

Atreu facing the Magic Mirror Gate in The Neverending Story

 Over the years, he became nearly ubiquitous in my dreams. Even when the dreams weren't about him or nightmares at all, sometimes he was just there. Once in my early days of studying lucidity and dream control I found I could produce lightning from my fingertips as a weapon. Yes, just like the Emperor in Return of the Jedi. I used it on him and appeared to have destroyed him with it as I didn't see him for a long time afterwards. It was only last year I believe I have seen the last of my Shadow. I dreamed, very graphically I recall I watched another monster, it may as well be Jason Voorhees, crushed his skull and tore his heart out. Then I ate his heart. It has been over a year and I havent seen him again. I didn't see him for so long I actually missed him, until one dream, I caught a glimpse of him in my own reflection. It was then I realized, I hadn't defeated him or temporarily subdued him as before with the lightning. I could only see him in my reflection because I have merged with him. I have accepted and admitted him and his three traits as an inexorable part of myself. I am ugly, cruel, a coward and a liar. The only way to change is to acknowledge the things you don't like about yourself.